Bear No Grudge
A lot of times what weighs us down is not just our weight in terms of kgs and inches, but the negative emotions. One such negative emotion is the grudge we hold against someone. Every emotion induces a certain biochemical reaction in our bodies. Happy emotions can makeover cells vibrate higher and a sad or angry emotion can do exactly opposite. Hence it is best to not hold or bottle up any sort of grudge that will certainly harm our own selves.
Effects of grudges on our health:
- Negativity and negative emotions can truly rob us of our energy which we rather use in healing and more productive things.
- If we are constantly holding grudges, our body perceives it as a stressful situation and thus starts to release cortisol hormone. Increased levels of cortisol have a connection with every single disease — from weight gain, diabetes to deadly diseases like cancer.
- It’s a proven effect that emotions like anger, hate, resentment have a strong relation with diseases like cancer, diabetes, blood pressure, gall bladder issues, etc. It is important to nourish our physical bodies and emotional health at the same time. When we get angry and have rage in us it injures our arteries and produces inflammation.
So, should we not feel them (grudges) at all?
We are humans and each one of us is born with varying levels of anger, bitterness, resentment, hate, grudges, etc. It’s okay to experience these till the time these emotions don’t start inflating and overpowering us.
How to deal with it?
- Practice acceptance and letting go: once mastered, these become the key to happiness and joy. Accept whatever has hurt or affected you, feel every emotion that comes from it and let it go without having you get into a victim mode. Letting go off these grudges, releasing what you have held on to for such a long time is true freedom.
- Practice forgiveness: The foremost reason we all hold grudges is because of our inability to forgive the other person. One must forgive, because it is what your body needs to feel happy and heal. Studies have found that act of forgiveness can lower the risk of heart attack, reduce pain and blood pressure, improve sleep quality and level of anxiety. It also points out the correlation between an increase in forgiveness and health as we age.
There are various ways of expressing this –
- Send a forgiveness note
- Text or E-mail
- Silently offer a prayer for them or talk to them and express your feelings.
Try this exercise and see if it helps in releasing the grudges you have against them— make a list of people you have a grudge against and sense how they take away energy from you. The grudge could be an unresolved emotion, feelings of revenge and hurt, unspoken words or any type of discomfort.
As you add names, recall and feel why you added their name. After you create a list, write a blessing for each one of them. The blessing has to come from your heart – for it to truly reach his /her heart. Having said that there are some instances where it may be hard to forgive a person. But this activity works for most grudges that stem from anything apart from this.